Afterliff

Faber and Faber, 2013. Good secondhand condition.

A liff is a familiar object or experience that English has no word for. Afterliff corrects this disgraceful oversight by recycling the names found on signposts. The book has 900 essential new definitions including:

Anglesey n.
Hypothetical object at which a lazy eye is looking.

Badlesmeare n.
One who dishonestly ticks the 'I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions' box.

Caterham n.
An overwhelming desire to use the Pope's hat as an oven glove.

Clavering ptcpl v.
Pretending to text when alone and feeling vulnerable in public.

Eworthy adj.
Of a person: worth emailing but not worth phoning or meeting.

Kanumbra n.
The sense that someone is standing behind you.

Ljubljana interj.
What people say to the dentist on the way out.

Loughborough n.
The false gusto with which children eat vegetables in adverts.

Sorrento n.
The thing that goes round and round as a YouTube video loads.

Uralla n.
A towel used as a bathmat.

The brilliant successor to Douglas Adams' and John Lloyd's 1983 classic The Meaning of Liff.